You Know You're A Mother When....

In timely fashion, I'm dedicating my first post (after a 2 month hiatus) to all moms for Mothers' Day.

Yes, yes - I can spend the first couple of paragraphs explaining my sudden drought of posts (not that I was that prolific in the first place) but can I just sum it up in a few succinct words? Moving houses. No maid. No nanny. 2 small children. Just me.

Get the picture?

Moving on....

Earlier this evening I woke Olivia from a deep sleep, knowing full well a) that she didn't get a good nap this afternoon, b) she was extremely tired and cranky, c) that she might not go back to sleep after. I woke her up because I wanted her to drink some milk. Because I was worried that she'd only had 16 ounces today and didn't meet her usual 24-32 ounce quota. And that she didn't have a good lunch. And only a so-so dinner (even though she did eat a big bowl of sautéed squash and rice. And 2 glasses of chocolate milk. And ice cream.)

I was worried that she might be hungry. Or worse, that she might become malnourished.

Of course anyone who has ever met my hoover-vaccum-cleaner of a two-year old knows that's impossible. But I woke her up anyway. Because I'm a mother and that's what we do - worry excessively and create impossible situations for ourselves. (Thankfully she quickly downed the 8 ounces I was force-feeding her and went right back to sleep. God, I love this kid!)

It got me thinking of the things we do as mothers (or at the very least, the things I do as a mother) that only mothers can, or are willing to, do.

So here's my list of things I know I can do that I'm pretty sure my husband can't. I know I'm a mother because:

1) I can pick up someone else's poop or wipe off someone else's pee/vomit without getting grossed out/fainting/puking/calling the CDC.

2) I can read Goodnight Moon and Hooray for Fish out loud, 8 times in a row, in one night without killing myself or someone else.

3) I can see myself picking up an 8 year old kid by the scruff of his shirt and beating the living crap out of him for hitting my daughter. (I wouldn't do it of course.... but I can certainly see myself doing it)

4) I can sweep the floor with a baby attached to my hip.

5) I can maneuver a stroller, a diaper bag, a hand bag, 2 large bags of groceries and a baby (who refuses to sit in the damn stroller) through the mall all by myself.

6) I can multi-task to the point where I would put CEOs to shame (run laundry, feed kids, check homework, cook dinner and watch Bloomberg all AT THE SAME TIME).

7) I can carry an informed and stimulating conversation about the merits of Adventure Time vis a vis your standard cartoon shows and why Barbie is the best friend a girl can have. Ever.

8) I can sing the theme songs to at least 8 different children shows.

9) I can imagine (easily) giving up my life for someone else's. Literally and figuratively.

10) I can put someone else's needs before my own.

Who knew I had it in me?

That P&G ad had it right: The hardest job in the world, is the best job in the world.

Now if only I could find a way to get paid.....

An Early Mother's Day Note to My Girls

I take pictures in my mind

Of things I hope to never forget

Like your big toothless smile when you wake up next to me

Or the sight of you running down the school lawn

With your arms outstretched to hug me.

The way your eyes disappear when you laugh

Or the way you sleep with your mouth open in the car.

I want to remember

Seeing you fall

And watching you pick yourself up

The way you twirl around in my room with a frilly skirt and flowers in your hair.

My girl.

My girls.

But how will I take a picture of....

The sweet smell of your breath

Or how it feels to hold your tiny hand in mine.

There will be no pictures of.....

Your big, wet, sloppy kisses

The sound of your laugh

The feel of your hand rubbing my arm as you try to fall asleep

And the delicate scent of you as you sleep.

There are just these words

And my thoughts

And my prayers

That I will never forget

The things that make me grateful to be your mother.