If a Blogger Blogs But No One Reads It.....

Does the blog really exist?

Well so much for my New Year's resolution to keep this blog updated. Aside from that entry, this is the first one I have for the year.

I am prepared, however, with a list of excuses:

1. I don't have the time - who knew motherhood was such a busy job? For all working moms and dads who think that stay at home moms spend their days lying in bed, watching trash tv and eating bonbons ---- can I just tell you that there are days when I fantasize about going BACK to work, just so I can get some rest. Hahaha. Not only do I have to manage my household of 7, I am also the personal and social secretary of my husband and my children. If I am able to squeeze in time to get a haircut or a pedicure I consider myself blessed. Having time to eat by myself or just trawl about the malls is a luxury. So who the hell has the time to blog?

2. I don't have anything to write - my husband has already warned me about writing too many posts about him. We once had an argument about whether or not he can censure my blog, and believe me - it was a long, weird and tiring conversation. I also recently read an article about being careful about how much we blog about our kids and how we should realize they have a right to privacy too. Not that my 6 year old and my 9 month old particularly care (or know) what mommy is saying about them on the world wide web, but they wont be that age forever. I can see Pilar 10 years from now stumbling on one of my posts about a) her ability to channel Damien on a regular basis; b) her chronic constipation; c) her obsession with a boy named Hugo in school - and suing me for parental emancipation. Or royalties. Depends on how she grows up. So if I can't write about my husband or my kids, what the hell will I write about?

3. The laptop is such a hassle to boot and I can't blog from the iPad. Actually this is my excuse for buying a Macbook air, but hey - if I can hit 2 birds with one stone....

4. I wrote something but it got deleted - this happens more often than you think when your 6 year old knows how to work your Mac, but not necessarily the programs in it. Or when the 9 month old thinks its amusing to smear baby food on the trackpad.

5. I had an idea, but then I forgot what it was - there have been days when I've had quite a few ideas for posts. But these happen normally late at night when Excuse #3 rears its ugly head, and I have to weigh the benefits of the extra half hour of sleep I can get versus another post my 2 constant readers can enjoy. Sleep wins every time. Plus, having been anesthesized at least 6 times in as many years, I can barely remember what I had for breakfast, let alone what random thoughts were running through my mind at 2 in the morning.

But I do have so much to say, to share, to post in this great void of verbosity --- that oddly enough, every so often, gets "heard". I wish I just had the time, the words, the tools to do it.

My New Year's Resolutions (1st Draft)

I figured since 2011 is the Year of the Rabbit, my year, I will, for the first time in a really long time, make some resolutions. (That's a lot of commas).

I will be realistic and reasonable, and not set myself up for defeat, by making them simple and easy to implement. I'm calling this my first draft since I will review them again at the end January and see if they really are as doable as I am assuming they are now. (You can take the girl out of the bank, but you can't take the process review out of the girl)

So here it is folks, my New Year's resolutions for 2011. May the force be with me.

1. I will love myself more - by losing 40 pounds and eating better, thus making myself healthier. I will exercise, diet, and give up soda, candy, ice cream and chocolate. I already feel sorry for the people who have to live with me. My incentive is that John promised if I hit my wedding weight ---- I can have a tummy tuck. And when has scary major cosmetic surgery not been attractive to anyone?

2. I will stop channeling Joan Crawford - and yelll at my kids less and hug them more. I will not stress Pilar out about school work, and I will let Livie eat the upholstery of random furniture (provided I can steam clean them before and after). I will strive to remember that my children are kids and are therefore supposed to act like kids, and will act like kids and I should cut them some slack. They are NOT tiny creatures from outerspace sent to torture me and stress me out until I die from a migraine-induced aneurysm. At least I hope they're not.

3. I will be more forgiving of people who are not as wonderful as I am.

4. I will stop gossiping about people. Correction. I will TRY to stop gossiping about people. Really. I will. Try that is.

5. I will try to reconnect with people who, once, meant a lot to me. And if it fizzles out I will accept that people change, people grow apart, and it's their bloody loss.

6. I will blog more frequently. Not because I honestly think anyone out there gives a damn, but because it gives me a chance to psychoanalyze myself and I am cheaper than a shrink.

7. I will be more honest- about myself, how I feel and what I really think about you.

8. Before I purchase anything I will run it through the new 4 way test: a) Do I need it or do I just want it? b) Can I afford it? c) Don't I already own this? (believe me, this happens more than you think) d)Am I just buying this because its on sale and I think it would be a waste if someone who isn't deserving winds up owning it instead of me?

9. I will declutter my life by purging with purpose and thought - unnecessary things and people.

10. I will accept that I am now mother and wife and that this will be my career for the next 2 years. I will stop wondering what if and what could be and just live in the now. I will try to be the best mother and wife that I can be and hopefully not get institutionalized in the process.

Love. Peace. Happiness. I have declared this to the universe and I claim it for myself.

Happy New Year everyone! :-)